for halfassed

[dreamsofpoison]

Just how and why Loki was back on Earth was a mystery. There had been no communication from Thor any Asgardian representatives. It wasn't obvious that Loki was back, in fact, his presence could have gone unnoticed if not for, well, mischief.

He'd somehow taken something belonging to one Clint Barton. Something very dear to him. His bow. Said bow now sat on a mantel above the fireplace in his current residence. It was a stone and log cabin. Lodge would be a more appropriate description. Logs make up A frame structures to support the roof. They also provide an excellent place to suspend someone from. Which inevitably happened when Barton followed the little trail of bread crumbs to find his bow and ultimately, Loki.

He's suspended near the fireplace, which is lit. Turned so he can see his bow sitting there on the mantel. He's hung high enough his toes barely brush the ground and apparently Loki took great care in securing his wrists in a specific type of cuff. The kind that would ensure he could keep him there for quite some time without much damage to his hands or wrists. He was stripped of his weapons and all his clothes save for his pants. Hence why he choose the beam close to the fire. It was the dead of winter outside.

As for Loki himself, he stood by the window, watching the snow fall and waiting for the subtle signs his captive has awoken. He's far removed from the armor and leather of before. Instead he's in simple mortal clothes but they still had a certain Loki-esque flair to them.

Comments

[halfassed]

"I don't know... who the hell I am."

He needs the comfort. He's never felt a need this big before. Maybe this is his heterosexual freak-out. Or his maybe-I'm-not-actually-a-good-guy freak-out. Either way, it's a freak-out.

He twists around, and settles himself into Loki's arms, burying his face in the curve where Loki's neck meets his shoulder.

"I don't know what I need to be." He just doesn't want to be left behind again. He can't be left behind. And SHIELD will leave him behind if they know about these blazing paths in his mind, about how he lets Loki touch him and he likes it.

[dreamsofpoison]

"You are mine," Loki utters like the answer is the most obvious thing on the planet. Strangely enough, he does understand this sort of identity crisis intimately, though understanding and helping are two different things.

He shifts to hold him tighter then adds, "My hawk. My solider." In the back of his mind he adds 'my general' because oh Clint would make an excellent general if Loki could have an army again.

[halfassed]

Loki wants him, and Loki accepts him, and Clint doesn't know which is easier: to sever all of his connections with Loki, or to just let himself fall to darkness.

He breathes in Loki's smell. And if he hadn't been exhausted so soon, he would have stirred again -- he's way more into Loki than he always expects. His hand drifts to Loki's abdomen, and flattens hesitantly over the skin there. If there was a child, he's not sure he could ever leave.

[dreamsofpoison]

An idea forms in Loki's mind. If it wasn't certain he was carrying before he'll make sure before they leave. It's not one of his proudest manipulations and makes him feel strangely inadequate. The silver tongued Loki couldn't get what he wanted without being pregnant. Just like a--No, he pushes those thoughts back. Not important. This is to survive. He must do everything he can to keep himself alive so he might regain what is his. One day.

That bit of inner turmoil is only reflected by an uneasy sigh. "I will tell SHIELD as much or as little as you like," he says in a low voice.

[halfassed]

If he betrays SHIELD, he just wants it to be once. Once, a clean break, snap it all off, his loyalties are gone and here's someone else. He doesn't want any fuzzy period in which he's not even sure himself who he prefers.

Unfortunately, he's right in the middle of that fuzzy period.

Clint snorts. "Is that because you want a double agent," he says, "or because you actually give a damn?" He can't even lift his head. He aches, inside. And he wants Loki to fuck him again. Again, and again, until he's exhausted.

[dreamsofpoison]

Loki sighs against him. He could have done without the return question because he fears it might be a mixture of both.

"Fury will not make the same mistakes again. He may suspect you on circumstance."

[halfassed]

"Just answer the god damn question."

[dreamsofpoison]

"Both," Loki relents. While that is the truth, he faintly hopes Clint will take it as him being further evasive. Sometimes the truth is best hidden in plain sight.

[halfassed]

No such luck. He knows the weight of truth when he sees it.

And, honestly, he's a little reassured that Loki told him the truth at all.

"Yeah," he rasps. "I thought so." He can't even really fault Loki for it. Who wouldn't want a double agent in SHIELD?

[dreamsofpoison]

He can't have everything it seems. Well, no reason to dwell on it. "We will need more firewood," he says changing the subject.

[halfassed]

"I'm not going." Not right now. He needs some time to recover.

[dreamsofpoison]

Loki gives his most dramatic put on sigh and gets up. He finds some clothes to pull on, more to keep him from turning blue than warmth. Other layers are only added to deal with the snow. He does feel the need for warm places, he wonders if that's Odin's doing or... No, no. Not thinking about that.

Now, there must be an axe somewhere. Oh this would be so much easier with Tho-- All right, he really must stop letting his mind wander. He finds an axe. "We need far more wood than one of us can gather. I will fell the trees. Follow my tracks when you're able."

[halfassed]

Clint falls straight asleep. On Loki's side, where it smells of him, where there are still some vague traces of warmth.

He's probably not going to wake up for several hours.

[dreamsofpoison]

It works out as Loki is gone several hours. He may be stripped of powers and mortal but he still weathers the cold extremely well. The hunt for wood took him a distance. A living tree would make poor fire wood to he searched out dead and dying. He found it strangely soothing, whether he admits to the sentiment or not, it reminds him of times spent hunting as boy.

He only felled mid-size trees he could move on his own. He drags two back to the cabin before setting about chopping them into usable chunks. They'll still need more. It's only when he realizes he's exhausted does he stop, return inside and plunk an arm full of wood on the floor.

[halfassed]

And Clint startles himself awake.

Oh, ew. He's slept too long. His brain feels a little too big for his skull.

"Welcome back," he mutters, blinking.

[dreamsofpoison]

"More outside," he says in regards to the wood. He actually sounds exhausted. His eyes move to the fireplace to see if there is anything left or if it has gone out.

[halfassed]

There's a little left. Mostly coals.

Clint levers himself out of bed, and reaches for his clothes. He shivers as he dresses, but he's obedient; he'll go out, and he'll get the wood.

[dreamsofpoison]

New wood is still too wet so he piles what's left of the old dry wood in the fireplace. The new wood placed fairly close by to dry.

Next up, food. He doesn't want to wait for the fire to catch again so he digs up a powerbar... thing. He gives it a funny look but eats it. Despite what some might think, Loki is fully capable of putting aside his pride to survive. Especially if it's for a greater goal. Gathering wood, of course, wasn't an entirely selfless act.

"Are you sore?" Loki asks a few minutes later when Clint has brought more wood in.

[halfassed]

"Nah," he says. "I'm okay." A little, yes, but it's not to the point where he would really notice or mind. He dumps the load of wood on the floor, and goes out to bring more in. Until he's brought all of it in.

And even then he'll avoid Loki's gaze.

[dreamsofpoison]

While he may be avoiding his gaze, that doesn't stop Loki from looking at him and studying his movements. He's quiet for now, which may not be a good thing. The situation is still fluid and Loki has had to alter his plans many times.

[halfassed]

Would take an idiot not to notice Loki noticing.

"What," says Clint, "you like what you see?"

[dreamsofpoison]

"If I did?" Loki asks back.

He's already retreated back under the blankets actually feeling cold for once. He's still resistant but he can feel it.

[halfassed]

Clint has absolutely no response to that, and he flounders for a moment as he slips off the snowy gloves, the jacket. "I, uh," he says. "So you're probably going to do all that again. Fucking me, I mean." He's a little reluctant to get back under those blankets. Maybe he should just sit apart from Loki for a bit. "Don't pregnant women get horny?"

[dreamsofpoison]

"I am not a woman," Loki reminds him again, as if insulted. But, yes, he will get horny and he knows that.

"If you let me," he adds about the fucking. He's too exhausted right now to do much of the work in that regard.

[halfassed]

"I think we've pretty much established that I will." Fortunately or un. "Fuck if I know why."

He settles on top of the blanket, and brushes Loki's hair back from his forehead. His hand hesitates briefly in the air, like he's afraid he'll get burned. But he touches the cool sweat, warms Loki's cold skin.

"Thanks for the wood," he says. "I mean, the kind that you burn. Not the kind that happens in your pants."